friends and lovers

The email below was sent by a certain girl to her best guy friend… However, the story did not end there. Her best friend replied with another email… makes you think, should it be better to start a relationship with your best friend?

Meantime Girl

She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”.
You know, she’s the one who you keep around in the meantime. She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does.
But she’s cool , and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve.
You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with.
Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at a factory. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman.
So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too.
We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.
She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one for him. For how long, I can’t remember.
I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot.
And someday we won’t be around.


This is her best friend’s reply…

To the “Meantime” girl,

There are a lot of things that you have to know about how I think. I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I think you deserve the best any man could offer. I think you are the greatest woman any man could ever have. I think I’d be better off with you than with any one else. But you know what? I can’t say these things to you. I can’t lose you. I can’t allow my feelings to get in the way of “Us.”

You know what? Those women that I go after, they’re not all great, those girls and I don’t share the same things that we share. You and I laugh at jokes that she doesn’t get. She doesn’t know everything about me (because I know if she does, I bet she would look for someone better). She doesn’t know what makes me cry or what makes me angry. And when I am angry, she cannot handle me as well as you do. She hates the way I drive, hates how I dress, and she absolutely hates it when I accidentally fart when I’m with her. But… you can handle me, you can understand me. You love me in spite and despite my flaws and only a few lucky bums like me can experience that kind of acceptance. Those women that I go after most of the time may have the body, the face, the “sex appeal”, everything any man would dream of and all women would want. But there is one thing that they lack that is very important… substance. I like what I see, but it ends there. They cannot make me happy in real sense of the word. In fact, they do the complete opposite, they make me feel worse about myself every moment of my life, and that sucks.

You think I don’t notice you? I do, that’s why I spend most of my time with you. You think you are not as attractive as the “beautiful” women are? Honestly, you are. But I cannot compromise what we have. I value you too much to lose you. You know how relationships hurt sometimes and I don’t want you to have that, especially from me. I’ve shared a whole lot of my life with you and I can’t afford to lose you.

Well, all I want to say is that you’re no meantime girl… in fact I want you to be with me forever. I don’t know how to say it without losing you but maybe it’s the risk I have to take. You may be my best “girl-friend”, but you know what? You are the best girl for me. Maybe this is the risk I have to take… I love you.

Your “Buddy”